Octopus Tentacle Box Weiner

niamliveslarryloves:

basedgosh:

i hate one direction fans so much
i need my whole room to cool down but no this damn thing only blows one way

I literally had to read that 5 times…

oh my god

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1 day ago

witchyhellbroth:

pinenolanapple:

it takes 237 muscles to fake an orgasm but 15 to say “it’s called a clitoris and it’s right here”

#don’t ever fake an orgasm let them know they disappointed you

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1 day ago

clubbedsoda:

“you’re denying it so it must be true!”
NO IM DENYING IT BECAUSE ITS FALSE MOTHERFUCKER

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1 day ago

forcequitlife:

i am the almost empty shampoo bottle in the shower of life

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1 day ago

youknownothing-ouiserboudreaux:

I just saw someone refer to a nap as “horizontal life pausing” and I am adopting this immediately.

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1 day ago

davidisbeyonce:

jesuschristvevo:

imagine avril lavigne as a mom

“hey hey you you i dont like your boyfriend”

“but mom!”

“no way no way youre never gonna see him”

“MOM”

“HEY HEY YOU YOU YOURE FUCKING GROUNDED”

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1 day ago

Me most of the year: Want that. Want that. Want that.

Me near my birthday or christmas: I CANNOT THINK OF A SINGLE THING I WANT.

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1 day ago

niknak79:

Same to you broccoli

62,491 notes REBLOG

1 day ago

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

I just have this really strong feeling that I was meant to be garlic bread

what the hell

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1 day ago

myfandomsarebetterthanyours:

craplos:

ladies. be careful when u wear spaghetti straps. it might distract the boys. they’ll start thinking of spaghetti. they will get hungry. they will stop at nothing to get their spaghetti.

As a boy I can confirm that when I see spaghetti straps my hunger knows no bounds

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1 day ago