I’m sorry I can’t come to the phone right now. I’m busy cutting open Fruit Gushers and squeezing all of the goo into a glass so I can take a shot of it because that has always been a dream of mine and now that I’m an adult with a job, I finally have the means to make it a reality. Please leave your name and number after the beep.
✧ the best mixed pale you’ll find ✧
what the FUCK does a brush taped to pole have to do with being pale
What the fuck is “mixed pale”
Humorous Movie Marquee Mash-Ups
I feel like a lot of these movies would be better than the movies they were actually showing
when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank
they’re married now